Post by john on Oct 21, 2009 1:48:29 GMT -5
Giant tentacled creature from outer space appointed Obama's new Eating White People Czar
The White house introduced it's new Eating White People Czar to the public today. Blargnox 9 has been appointed to follow through on Obama's campaign promise to make more white people suffer excruciating deaths at the hands of an alien beast. Although conservative media outlets claimed this was another one of Obama's moves to put a stranglehold on the country by force, most polls indicated this was supported by the majority of American voters who don't care about their political process enough to read.
Now that Blargnox 9 has been appointed, he will immediately start a cross country public relations tour to explain the social benefits of eating white people. At the same time, he will also eat white people. Although the thought of an alien consuming humans is usually reserved for movies, Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said "this is reality and we will benefit from cooperation with our alien brothers". Gibbs went on to list how this will benefit the job market, entertainment and health care.
When questioned about how he planned to function in his new post, Blargnox 9 ate Helen Thomas.
The White house introduced it's new Eating White People Czar to the public today. Blargnox 9 has been appointed to follow through on Obama's campaign promise to make more white people suffer excruciating deaths at the hands of an alien beast. Although conservative media outlets claimed this was another one of Obama's moves to put a stranglehold on the country by force, most polls indicated this was supported by the majority of American voters who don't care about their political process enough to read.
Now that Blargnox 9 has been appointed, he will immediately start a cross country public relations tour to explain the social benefits of eating white people. At the same time, he will also eat white people. Although the thought of an alien consuming humans is usually reserved for movies, Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said "this is reality and we will benefit from cooperation with our alien brothers". Gibbs went on to list how this will benefit the job market, entertainment and health care.
When questioned about how he planned to function in his new post, Blargnox 9 ate Helen Thomas.