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Post by tm-you-know-who on Oct 27, 2009 15:49:24 GMT -5
What about the farmer's daughter? Does she come in a can? No, but you can come in her's.
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county
Junior Member
Posts: 59
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Post by county on Oct 28, 2009 1:44:20 GMT -5
So, this Cop leaves home one morning and then when he gets home that evening his shit is all on the front porch so he beats on the door and his wife answers and he says WTF? And she says she learned that day that he is a pedophile....so he says, honey, that's an awful big word for a 9 year old.
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Post by tm-you-know-who on Nov 17, 2009 19:32:43 GMT -5
^^^ Way to go, thread killer -
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Post by flylooper on Nov 17, 2009 20:21:44 GMT -5
15 Things It Took Me A Lifetime to Learn.
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. There is a very fine line between having a "hobby" and having a "mental illness."
3. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
4. You should not confuse your career with your life.
5. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
6. Never lick a steak knife.
7. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
8. You will not find anyone who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
9. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant, unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
10. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
11. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
12. A person who is nice to you but rude to a waitress, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention, as this rule never fails.)
13. Your friends love you anyway.
14. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
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Post by tm-you-know-who on Nov 18, 2009 15:49:20 GMT -5
Uh, on number 8 try living somewhere without daylight savings time. They used to do it in Japan after the war but dropped it after the occupation because they felt it had been imposed upon them.
Basically, in the summer it starts getting light out at around 3:30/4:00 o'clock and is full on light for hours before most people even get out of bed. (and most of the damn stores don't even open until 10:00 AM) This was a big problem for me when I was up north because I tend to get up when I see its light outside and was always up at 4:30 with absolutely nothing to do and nowhere to go for hours.
Then, of course, it starts getting dark about 6:00 pm so all the lights come on and have to be run for all the hours before people go to bed. Its much more efficient to change the clock and have it be lighter for longer in the evening when people are actually up and around. Also, its damn nice to come home after work and have a few hours of light left to cut the grass or sit on the porch and wacth the kids play.
So, there's your answer - its for the children.
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Post by bizarro on Dec 1, 2009 13:08:11 GMT -5
Humbug. My shift starts at 5:15. I say get rid of it.
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Post by tm-you-know-who on Feb 5, 2010 3:55:24 GMT -5
I don't know the NCAA doesn't recruit more gay basketball players - their man on man has to be better than anyone elses...
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Post by tm-you-know-who on Feb 5, 2010 3:58:01 GMT -5
I do know why the NHL doesn't recruit gay hockey players though, they're always banging all the other guys in the ass with their sticks...
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Post by baldrick on Feb 5, 2010 10:22:38 GMT -5
Uh, on number 8 try living somewhere without daylight savings time. They used to do it in Japan after the war but dropped it after the occupation because they felt it had been imposed upon them. Basically, in the summer it starts getting light out at around 3:30/4:00 o'clock and is full on light for hours before most people even get out of bed. (and most of the damn stores don't even open until 10:00 AM) This was a big problem for me when I was up north because I tend to get up when I see its light outside and was always up at 4:30 with absolutely nothing to do and nowhere to go for hours. Then, of course, it starts getting dark about 6:00 pm so all the lights come on and have to be run for all the hours before people go to bed. Its much more efficient to change the clock and have it be lighter for longer in the evening when people are actually up and around. Also, its damn nice to come home after work and have a few hours of light left to cut the grass or sit on the porch and wacth the kids play. So, there's your answer - its for the children. Actually, wasn't it intended to help farmers during harvest season, giving them more daylight to work in? Not much use these days with GPS and lots of lights on the tractors...
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